How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Get Married

Marriage is a big deal in this part of the world, especially in my country, Nigeria.

In my previous post, I asked a vital question: How Are You Handling The Pressure To Get Married?

As an adult, once you complete your education and start working, the next thing that is expected and demanded of you is MARRIAGE.

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

So, when are you getting married?

But with the evolving trends in today’s world, some are not buying into the idea of marriage anymore for reasons best known to them.

This post describes the reaction of African parents if you dare say you are not getting married.

 

So, should you refuse to marry, here are 5 things you should expect from African Parents:

Shock: the first reaction African parents will express when you utter the dangerous words, ‘I don’t wanna get married’ is shock far greater than 26 MegaVolt of electricity.

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

This shock can make your family members stare at you for seconds, their eyes threatening to pop out of their sockets while waiting for you to say, ‘it’s a joke! I was just pulling your legs, I am definitely getting married! I was possessed by Morgana from Camelot!”

But after waiting a few more seconds and you do not retract your statement, you should expect the next reaction on this list.

 

Screaming: this is the next reaction you should expect.

This kind of scream is similar to the one you make when you realize that your phone is no longer in your pocket in a crowded market.

It comes out with a high pitch to indicate that a major calamity just occurred because why would you say you don’t want to marry in an African home?

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

Over my dead body!

Have you found another home? Another Family?

The extended family will not take it. Maybe, just maybe, the screaming will scare you enough to reconsider your stance. But if you claim to have made up your mind, then brace up for the next course of action.

 

Family Meeting: also known as the gathering of the jury, a family meeting is certain to happen.

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

Go on, we are listening to your nonsense talk…

At the meeting, you will meet your paternal uncles and aunties that asked you to send your account number since 2011, your long-lost cousins that you blocked on Twitter because they were monitoring your posts, your grandparents, and of course, the convener of the important gathering, your parents.

How African parents will react if you refuse to get married

In this meeting, you will be required to stand before the members of the jury and describe the colour of audacity that possessed you to say you are not getting married.

Questions will be thrown at you like stones at a glass house,

“Did someone break your heart?

Did your parents offend you?

Have you been experiencing symptoms of malaria lately?

Is it because you don’t have plenty money yet?

We can borrow you the money today, then you will repay with 35% interest in two years.

So, what’s your excuse?”

 

Blackmail: while you are busy defending your reasons like an undergraduate defending his copied project before stone-hearted lecturers, you should expect some theatrical performance meant to dissuade you from your audacious plan.

There will be tears from the females especially, and if your mum is really dramatic like mine, she will remind you that you were born because she got married and you have to give her grandchildren by getting married.

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse Marry

I carried you for nine months

You will be called, ‘selfish’, and if you are lucky, they will add ‘ungrateful child’ to the list of names you will be called.

And if you are unmoved by the tears, they will launch into more questions:

“What did we do to you to deserve this?”

“We attended the wedding of our friends’ children; don’t you want them to attend yours?”

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

“Is it because we didn’t buy you a bicycle when you were a kid?”

“Is it because we have been saving the money visitors gave you when you were a child?”

“We are still saving it for your wedding day nau. If you don’t marry, how will you collect it?”

To weaken your resolve the more, your parents will attempt to kneel down and beg, knowing fully well that you can’t bear to see them that way. Game over!

 

Deliverance session: If at this stage, the members of the jury find you stubborn and unyielding to their pleas, you are definitely moving to this final and important stage because what prayers cannot do, does not exist.

How African Parents Will React If You Refuse To Marry

You demon of singuculosis, die now!

What powers whispered into your ears that you should not get married?

Which social media app influenced your decision?

Which friend suggested it to you?

Their plans must fail and your wedding must what? It must hold.

***

Are there other things that African parents would do in this situation?

Tell me in the comment section below.

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All Comments

  • Lol! My mum is praying for me because I told her of my decision!

    I’ve attended Family meeting too

    Abimbola February 23, 2021 2:13 pm Reply
    • Abimbola, I join Mum in prayers.
      More family meetings await you.

      kemiclassico February 23, 2021 2:58 pm Reply
    • What a great read! Loved it!

      Beauty's Daughter February 24, 2021 4:27 am Reply
    • This has made me laugh so hard… Mostly because of its accuracy…nicely written. The images though.

      Olivia Byemera February 24, 2021 5:05 am Reply
  • Kemiclassico.com no go wound us Oo… I don’t belong to any of the categories… We are the AVOIDERS..I NEVER GO HOUSE FOR OVER TWO YEARS because of this questions.

    Damilola February 23, 2021 2:20 pm Reply
    • Ah, Damilola!
      On behalf of Mumsy, we will not take it!
      Find your way home before I send boys to carry you by force.

      kemiclassico February 23, 2021 2:56 pm Reply
      • Lol….kemiclassico e be like say na from experience you dey talk ooo ….but I hope say e never reach deliverance session sha….if e reach am me self go join your family members do am for you ….
        We plenty wey dey await your wedding day ooo…

        Tosin February 24, 2021 4:57 am Reply
        • Loool.
          We are almost at the deliverance stage.
          I bet they are considering it already.

          kemiclassico February 24, 2021 9:28 am Reply
    • You are definitely my long lost sibling because me sef don japa

      Bolaji Gelax February 23, 2021 9:46 pm Reply
      • Gelax, no hiding place for a Goldfish.
        On behalf of the extended family, we will find you.

        kemiclassico February 24, 2021 9:34 am Reply
  • This one weak me oh. Me I will sha marry so that they will not use broom to pursue evil spirit that is not there, from my body. If the one I’m holding refuses to pay bride price, he can expect me in his village in the next 1-2 working years asking for his hand.

    Tobe February 23, 2021 2:20 pm Reply
    • Oh my God!
      Tobe, no kee me for my Grandma, abeg!
      Laslas, we go come chop your wedding Jollof

      kemiclassico February 23, 2021 2:56 pm Reply
      • Ladies are really trying in the country where some guy aren’t ready for marriage but want to do what married people are doing.
        I pray for every single lady reading this and are due for marriage, may you find your future partner before the year 2021 is over IJN.

        Oluwapelumi February 23, 2021 4:18 pm Reply
        • Amen to your prayers.
          Thank you, Pelumi.

          kemiclassico February 23, 2021 4:57 pm Reply
          • You are welcome

            Oluwapelumi February 24, 2021 9:02 am Reply
    • Gbam!!!

      Oluwakemi February 24, 2021 1:08 pm Reply
  • Aunty Kemi you will not kill us with laugh oo..
    If i ever mentioned this to Iya Bimpe,na correct Iya Tao slap oo,
    Kia,every evil spirit will Let me be.

    Bimpe February 23, 2021 3:36 pm Reply
    • I’m glad this post made you laugh.
      Please, don’t let mummy hear it o.
      God bless.

      kemiclassico February 23, 2021 4:59 pm Reply
  • My own mummy AF tell me dat I shud not try bring home a particular tribe and that’s the tribe I am dating already sef, so I think it’s better I tell her m not getting married, so we can go settle the remaining one for family meeting… I pray I have a good lawyer and panel of Judges to bail me out, or else, I am taking form to be a Nun

    Ibuoye Hormoladeh February 23, 2021 3:40 pm Reply
    • Wawu!
      Don’t worry, Omolade.
      Mummy will eventually understand and accept your partner.
      Love conquers all.

      kemiclassico February 23, 2021 4:59 pm Reply
    • This get married issue is not pure water oo
      .
      .God help us all sha

      Oluwagbeminiyi February 26, 2021 9:10 pm Reply
      • It’s not even bottled water.
        God airpus.

        kemiclassico February 27, 2021 7:17 pm Reply
  • Funny but real life stuvs.. I love this.

    Chris February 23, 2021 5:36 pm Reply
  • Lol… Mummy, I don’t want to get married. Yes auntie? What do you all want to do?

    Nomad February 23, 2021 9:15 pm Reply
    • Say what?
      Family meeting coming right up!

      kemiclassico February 24, 2021 9:34 am Reply
      • Lol

        Nomad February 27, 2021 3:36 pm Reply
  • I don laugh tire ehn

    Bolaji Gelax February 23, 2021 9:45 pm Reply
  • I remembered telling my mum that I may not get married. She just looked at me with a smirk on face and said, ‘You and I know you’re joking.’ Then she hissed. I just knew it was not a topic to bring up again

    Tommy Daniel February 23, 2021 10:52 pm Reply
    • Lol, Tommy.
      Please, don’t joke with Mumsy again.
      We will not take it.

      kemiclassico February 24, 2021 9:30 am Reply
  • It feels good to be here. This article is a nice read

    Kabirat Arowona February 24, 2021 6:11 am Reply
  • This is hilarious and spot on.

    It’s the sequence of action for me

    Alaba Ademola Emmanuel February 24, 2021 8:56 am Reply
  • This one too strong ooo, too hilarious, and at the same time, it’s the truth.
    My prayers are with my mother because am not ready as a 30-year-old guy, ladies don do me strong things.

    felix olaniran February 24, 2021 9:27 am Reply
    • Sending you plenty love and hugs, Felix.

      kemiclassico February 24, 2021 9:41 am Reply
  • Lol.

    During the meeting, instances of Kunle, the last son of Baba Kunle, who recently married will be sited.

    Your colleagues in school, who have recently got married will be stated while furthering asking you reasons for refusing to marry…

    AYENI Ibrahim February 24, 2021 12:34 pm Reply
    • lol, everybody wants to have a say, but your opinion is all that matters.

      kemiclassico February 25, 2021 10:32 am Reply
  • Gbam!!!

    Oluwakemi February 24, 2021 1:09 pm Reply
  • This made me laugh.
    All African parents are in the same WhatsApp group ni
    I once said I will only agree to marry if its an Alhaji and become a fourth wife.
    Hmmm, the gallons of anointing oil I drank no be here oo the evil spirit sef tire

    Rachel SemeGold February 24, 2021 4:42 pm Reply
    • OMG!
      I can imagine the deliverance session that accompanied the anointing oil.
      Dear Rachel, the extended family does not support your request to be a fourth wife and we will be convening a family meeting soon.

      kemiclassico February 25, 2021 10:29 am Reply
  • Honestly you really nailed the point ooh, Kemiclassico,When I saw the pic, I was just laughing and it made me remember a relationship I was into Sha, although it didn’t work out,I was moody but my mum noticed, anytime she is praying in the midnight she will come and put Bible on my head and she will be saying “receive peace”, I dare not tell her that I will not marry

    Esther February 25, 2021 2:20 pm Reply
    • Waoh.
      Thank God for Mumsy’s prayers.
      Not to worry, Esther, everything good will come to you.

      kemiclassico February 26, 2021 1:24 pm Reply
  • Don’t we all have the same parents in this Africa?

    The Tory Teller February 25, 2021 11:14 pm Reply
  • This made me laugh so hard.

    I can completely relate, because I remember deciding never to marry.

    Even got admission into the convent.

    But, then, the forces of African parents “on marriage” should never be toyed with.

    Las las, this fourth left-finger must glow.

    Augustina March 1, 2021 9:20 pm Reply
    • Glow, it will.
      Love and diamond rings, Tina.

      kemiclassico March 2, 2021 11:14 am Reply
  • Chai! God will deliver us from singulocosis, amen? Amen.

    I didn’t tell mine I won’t get married; I just let them know that it wasn’t compulsory to do so, therefore I am indifferent about the whole thing. I have built a reputation in my family for being quite unyielding when I set my mind to something so they know better than to carry out this sequence of reactions (unless they are doing it among themselves, lol).

    In January, though, my mum called and said she had been praying for a life partner for me and remembered the statement I had made about marriage not being a do or die affair. Na so mum dearest was pleading with me to reverse the statement so I don’t remain single for life, lmao.

    You people should help me tell this woman to enjoy her three grandchildren and leave matter for Matthias.

    Ketchup March 2, 2021 10:55 am Reply
    • Oh my!
      Shirley, Mumsy wants to enjoy all the grandchildren.
      Biko, reverse your statement before we call for a family meeting.

      kemiclassico March 2, 2021 1:46 pm Reply
  • This cracked me up.
    My aunts released the waterworks when I said I didn’t want to get married.
    Omo!
    That day was something else.
    They begged me to confide in them. To tell them if I was ever raped. Or abused or angry with an ex.

    Never want to be there again.

    Ibukun March 16, 2021 3:27 pm Reply
    • Oh my!
      Sorry you had to go through that, Ibukun!
      Glad you are in a better place now.
      *blows kiss*

      kemiclassico March 16, 2021 4:09 pm Reply

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