Do long distance relationships still work? Find out in today’s post.
Moses kept pacing in his sitting room, nervously tapping his phone in his hands, while waiting for Nkechi to call back as promised.
It’s been over thirty minutes since he called her and the deafening voice in the background suggested that she was at a party with her friends.
Earlier in the day, he had asked her about her schedule and she never mentioned a party, which got him agitated, a little jealous maybe.
He knew she was a social butterfly and the life of every party she attends, his only concern was that her bubbly personality makes guys flock around her like moths to a flame.
After all, that was what got him attracted to her in the first place.
It was the third Saturday in August 2019, he had flown in Lagos from Abuja for a friend’s wedding and she was one of the bridesmaids.
Not only was her beauty enthralling, but her dance moves also captivated him as she was very energetic, spreading happiness on the dance floor.
She had caught everyone’s attention as some of the groom’s men were trying to outdo themselves to dance with her.
Before the party ended, he had bumped into her at the caterer’s stand and couldn’t help but pass compliments that she received warmly.
He loaded his bullets and shot his shot, and to his surprise, she was not in a relationship. They exchanged numbers and their friendship began.
Five weeks later, she had agreed to date him after much persuasion and that was the beginning of their love story.
Three months into the relationship, trouble began to rear its hideous head in their paradise when he noticed that her communication level had dropped.
She was also making new male friends at parties she attended and would post pictures on her social media pages.
Moses feared that the relationship was headed for the rocks because of their distance. He also had a lingering fear that she would fall for another guy just like she did for him when they met.
He sat on the couch and exhaled loudly, anxiety getting the better of him.
He couldn’t sit still and he dialled her number again but she didn’t pick.
After the call ended, his phone beeped. It was a message from her and it read:
I can’t do this anymore, Moses. This relationship is stressing me a great deal and I need my peace. I hope you understand. Please, stop calling me, I won’t pick. It’s done.
Days before I made this post, I asked a few persons if they could engage in long distance relationships.
Guess what? I got more NOs than Yes.
‘Team No’ gave reasons like anything can happen, I can’t deal with the distance, it’s hard to tell if the other person is cheating, and so on.
Two persons agreed to trying long distance relationships; the first person told me he wouldn’t mind if he truly loved the person.
And the other said she had engaged in one before and it was such a sweet experience – one she was willing to try again.
Before I ask for your opinion, I want to list the three most important factors that make long distance relationships work; based on the knowledge I gained from people and my experience.
Long distance relationships are not for the faint-hearted or partners without integrity.
This is because the top lingering fear in the mind of both partners is what is my partner doing at the moment?
This question can stir insecurities and force a partner to do crazy things like surprise visits or having someone monitor your partner – which is creepy if you ask me.
Trust is a very delicate thing and it can tear a relationship apart when it is abused.
Staying in a different locality from your partner can be quite unsettling because you have no clue about what is going on in their lives.
You are only privy to what they choose to share with you and this means that you can either take their word for it or continue to doubt them.
And guess what?
Constant doubt breeds resentment which will eventually sink the boat of your relationship if you do not keep it in check.
Whether it’s a short or long distance relationship, communication is one of the pillars that sustain a relationship.
Heck, it is as important as the feelings that started the relationship in the first place!
Without communication, long distance relationships won’t work and that’s a fact.
Guys, you should also note that communication is nothing without comprehension.
Even if you share your opinions, views, or feelings in the relationship and your significant other isn’t getting what you are saying, then you are only wasting your time.
Does absence still make the heart fonder?
The answer to this question is not as straightforward as it seems.
Missing someone you love who is far away from you can cause heartaches and loneliness.
Some relationships thrive on the physical presence of their partners, and people in such relationships cannot go for a week without seeing each other.
This is also due to the love language that people speak.
Someone who loves physical touch may not last in a long distance relationship because they need to see and touch their partner as a means of expressing their feelings
So, do long distance relationships still work?
My answer is YES, if the lovers involved are willing to make it work.
Over to you, what are your thoughts on long distance relationships?
Please, share with me in the comments section.
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