Should Tribal Differences Matter In A Relationship?

Should Tribal Differences Matter In A Relationship?

Three of my readers answer the dicey question: Should Tribal Differences Matter In A Relationship?

Hello Lover!

In today’s blog post, rather than write my point of view alone, I decided to engage six wonderful friends who submitted their opinions alongside mine.

I will be sharing three responses today and the next three in my subsequent post, so stay tuned and SUBSCRIBE to my blog.

In relationships today, there are a lot of reasons why people wouldn’t date someone they have feelings for.

Should tribal reasons be one of them?

Hear my panel of wise judges.

Should Tribal Differences Matter In A Relationship?

Photo by Follow Alice from Pexels

Very recently, I would have said a plain, very emphatic no. But those people who say we learn every day were not wrong.

I remember when I was going for service; my mum had “the talk” with me.

She warned me to stay away from Igbo or Hausa guys.

I remember laughing and saying that what mattered to me was that my man shares my faith, irrespective of his tribe.

After all, in the family of God, there is neither Jew nor Gentile, Yoruba nor Efik.

That stance is still very much accurate today; it’s just that it has become a little updated.

You see, I have seen a little bit more of the world and I can categorically say that cultures in Nigeria are as numerous as they are diverse.

If we are honest, we’ll admit that little elements of our tribal affiliations have a lot to do with our world views.

If both partners cannot identify and overcome the glitches of their cultural biases, then there will be a big problem.

If they can, great!

I’m saying this because I met some people whose habits and perspective were a no-no for me.

And because I’m someone who would like to vibe with my significant other on all levels, I would say tribal differences could be a huge problem.

So, my answer, in plain terms, is that tribal differences should not matter in a relationship if the partners can connect in spite of and because of their differences.

-Oluwakemi Makinde

To connect with her on Facebook, Click HERE

Should Tribal Differences Matter In A Relationship?

I would say no. But, I’m not everyone. Now you would probably think, why should I answer/mention everyone?

Well, that’s because if I were to get married, my wife will be somewhere among that “everyone” right?

There’s a reason why people stick to their tribesmen, ranging from trust to shared ethnic values.

Some would rather stay with the “devil they know”.

All are valid reasons, so I can’t really fault them.

So, it shouldn’t matter but I’m not everybody.

This means, if I meet someone I want and she’s from another tribe, I should approach her and pray she accepts me.

However, if she turns me down based on tribe, I’ll understand.

– Adekunle Ijaiya

To connect with him on IG, click HERE

What is the sweetest thing a lover has ever done for you?

I am one of those people who do not like generalizing, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So, when I am dealing with people, I give you the opportunity to give me a lasting positive impression, irrespective of tribe.

I CANNOT say because I have dealt with one Yoruba person before, so ALL Yoruba persons are the same or all Igbos are rude just because one Igbo person was rude to me. No.

The truth is, every tribe has good and bad people.

In my opinion, just find someone who agrees with your spirit, ideologies, goals, and values, irrespective of the tribe they hail from.

I don’t think tribe should be a limitation when it comes to relationships.

Everyone should be given a chance to prove themselves.

Love can happen to anybody at any time or anywhere and it can be from any tribe.

I’ve seen inter-tribal marriages that are doing well, and intra-tribal marriages that are chaotic, and vice versa.

So, I believe it’s more of who the individual is than where they come from.

Yes, there are cases where you may have a bias because of the general knowledge you have about a tribe but it doesn’t mean there are no good people there.

I don’t think tribe should be an issue and I hope with these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince and not confuse you that we are one Nigeria.

– Onyinye Udeh, blogger.

To read some of her works, click HERE.

Should Tribal Differences Matter In A Relationship?

I remember as an undergraduate, my mum used to be insistent that I must not date an Abeokuta guy. This was me that was just trying to pass my exams and graduate from the University without a scratch.

I was home during one of the holidays and we had a conversation around that topic.

So, I asked her, ‘what did Abeokuta people do to you?’

I was expecting a gory tale that would make me understand her stance, but guess what? It had to do with horrific stories passed down to her from other people.

I took my time to engage with her that day till she was convinced that she was only projecting other people’s fears on me.

That was not the first time that I was hearing such misconceptions about Abeokuta people and honestly, I am not bothered.

Mind you, I am a Yoruba girl from EKITI state, and Abeokuta, Ogun State is a Yoruba state!

When I meet a guy for the first time, the first thing I look out for is ‘sense’, sapio something much?

Yeah, right.

The next important quality is KINDNESS, then, spiritual values.

Tribe was and still is the least of my problems.

Truth be told, here in Nigeria, tribal differences is a big issue and it has caused a lot of disparity between lovers and friends.

But this is my opinion, tribe is a division created because you were born to parents who hailed from a tribe(s), so it SHOULD NOT MATTER.

Today, my mum is no longer bothered about what tribe I marry from, which I consider a good development.

– Kemiclassico.

Let’s connect on Facebook.

What do you think?

Should tribal differences matter in a relationship?

Please, share your thoughts in the comments section.

 

Read Also: What Women  Really Want And Other Mysteries Of The Earth.

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All Comments

  • Tribal differences shouldn’t matter in a relationship. Other important factors like the compatibility of the partners should be the focus.

    Emmanuel Oladele May 7, 2021 4:35 pm Reply
    • Very correct.
      Thanks for sharing, Emmanuel.

      kemiclassico May 13, 2021 8:31 am Reply
  • It depends on your viewpoint, as a yes or no answer can be justified.

    Every man is a product of culture (tribe). Don’t look at me like that…yes, they are. Even the believers are a product of a tribe. We often say Zion tribe. Hence, what we do or don’t do premise on that tribe.

    Unless a man is open to learn and unlearn (open to being a better person) then we should be concerned about the tribe he or she is from.

    Every tribe has their peculiarities and as humans, we have what we can cope with or not.

    This is what informed the mindset of don’t marry from this tribe or that one because of those peculiarities.

    The flaw of that mindset is that they don’t know that in the end, man or woman is a product of choices and not necessarily tribe. It’s just unfortunate that people use the tribe as a yardstick to determine who you are.

    Can’t blame them, many before us and with us lay credence to the fact that culture shapes a lot of us.

    Hence, it should matter unless we are certain that a person is a person that has the mind of his or her own and decides the shape his or her values would be.

    Alaba Ademola Emmanuel May 7, 2021 5:37 pm Reply
    • Your submission is so detailed, Demola.

      I love the deviation more.

      Yes, we are products of culture but we are humans first.

      Some may not have want to go outside their tribe which is okay, and maybe because their parents are in on it as well.

      In the long run, the choice is still ours to make.

      kemiclassico May 8, 2021 7:24 am Reply
      • I Always consider a person first as a human, before I think of any other thing.
        As a human,due to the fact that we are not perfect,we can and should always leave room for fuckups,it shouldn’t just be too much and one shouldn’t be taken for granted..
        I’ve met quite a few people that I have treated as humans first,but then they act according to their tribes..it’s always funny…
        Anyways it doesn’t matter to me,I believe in love , understanding and once the feeling is mutual, there’s hardly anything that can be a hindrance..
        God help us all

        Oluwagbeminiyi May 8, 2021 1:19 pm Reply
        • Amen!
          Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Gbeminiyi.
          We are humans first before tribe existed.

          kemiclassico May 11, 2021 5:29 pm Reply
  • Always on point with your content.

    Samuel Awe May 7, 2021 7:50 pm Reply
  • For me, no epistle.
    Tribal difference dont really count

    Jones Tosin May 7, 2021 8:13 pm Reply
  • Tribe should never be a hindrance to love.

    The Tory Teller May 7, 2021 8:23 pm Reply
    • Thank you, Tory Teller!

      Your submission is appreciated.

      kemiclassico May 8, 2021 7:26 am Reply
  • I don’t think it should matter, except in cases where it does matter. Does that make sense? Anyway, I’m not an authority on the subject since I always find myself dating Igbo boys. And they’re great from where I stand.

    Tobe May 8, 2021 12:42 pm Reply
    • Be like say I will try one Igbo boy too.
      Thanks for airing your views, Rachel.

      kemiclassico May 11, 2021 5:30 pm Reply

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